Tamela Wagner
Tonganoxie, Kansas
I've had people ask me why I sign my pieces tamela blessed. For those of you who don't personally know me, I was diagnosed with brain disease called Cavernous Angioma in 2011. I was told that surgery to remove a bleeding tumor in my brainstem was impossible. I went about 4 months desperately looking for a surgeon who could help me, but had no luck. It was a very scary and dark time in my life. I knew that my time would be limited with a tumor slowly leaking blood in my brainstem and no one could tell me for sure how long. I know it sounds crazy, but everything became beautiful! Colors were vibrant, sunsets and sunrises were breathtaking, birds, animals..generally everything in nature gave me peace. I for once in my life noticed the little things. My life before was so consumed with career, money, material things that just didn't matter anymore. I cherished every single minute with my husband and my two sons. We didn't have to go any where or spend money to make our time together special. I was sad but also at peace knowing that I knew Jesus. I was baptized in Dec 2011 and my heart swelled with love for everything around me. After being baptized I completely handed everything over to God. I knew I was at a crossroads and that only God was in controll! I surrendered my fear, my worries, my life. I knew that if my time came that I would see Him in all of his amazing glory and my mother and sister would be there to meet me too! The only selfish and overwhelming feeling I had was that I would miss my husband and children if I have to go. That thought brought me to tears but God always found a way to comfort me during these questionable moments by sending a beautiful bird, butterfly or amazing human being my way! In the blink of an eye everything took a turn in Jan 2012. I received a phone call from a Dr in Phoenix that said he could do the surgery needed to remove the tumor. He was a world renowned surgeon who had the knowledge and skills to help me! I fell to my knees, burst into tears and praised God with the Dr right there on the phone! I found myself 9 days later driving 22 hours to Phoenix Arizona with my Husband and Father to an unknown future. It could turn out great or could turn out..the other way. There were no promises. I could pass, I could be paralyzed, blind, and even incompetent..there was no way to know. I decided that it would be a chance worth taking and I felt in my heart that eveything would be ok. On our drive, I sat in the back seat of the car the entire trip and took in the ride and all the beautiful scenery my eyes could see. I felt that God was speaking to me through the scenes, the sky, and even the sun rays bouncing off of the clouds in the sky. I felt peace. We arrived to meet the surgeon at 3 pm and at 5am the next day I was having surgery! I had the "impossible" brainstem surgery and just 4 days later another unplanned surgery to remove another bleeding cavernous angioma on my spinal cord! I was in recovery for 3 weeks and released to come home miraculously with only a couple minor deficits! The doctors where amazed at my progress and most of all faith! After returning home, I spent five months doing speech, occupational and physical therapy all day three days a week at a neurological rehabilitation center. Once released from there I had to have an eyeball realigned because therapy couldn't correct a crooked eyeball and the double vision I had because of the bleeding. The surgery was done and I had to wait six months for my eye to heal and open on its own. The realignment surgery was successful and now I only see double when looking to my right. The Eye Surgeon told me he was amazed that my eye recovered like it did..and it was totally unexpected. He told me God had his hand on me because of everthing that had been overcome.
Healing from all these surgeries literally took almost 2 1/2 years. I had to learn to be patient and do everything in God's timing...not mine! I wrote poetry, read books, did some journaling, and started painting...to name a few. I loved to draw when I was a child and through school but dropped it after graduation when life became busy. God reignited this within me during my down time and now I'm just going with it. It feels right! I love making other people happy and get more joy out of that than the actual payment...but again, he's giving me another means to provide...another blessing. I didn't return to my long lived career of 23 years after recovery, but decided to be a Special Needs Para Professional at my local High School...yet another blessing to be able to help others. The story of my journey could go on and there are too many "God winks" to mention. It's amazing how God revealed himself to me and my husband in so many ways! Bottom line is... God is real, God hears your prayers, God makes impossible things become possible and he knows what you need when you need it. Because of my faith I'm here! I am blessed to be alive, to walk, to talk, to see and to even paint! I am Tamela Blessed...no doubt about it! I hope the work I do makes you feel happy because I get immense joy out of making each and every piece. My advice is to slow down, breathe easy, love your family, live each day to the fullest, enjoy the simple things, find something you love and lose yourself doing it and most of all give yourself and all of your burdens over to God! Because of Him, it's a wonderful and colorful life and with God all things are possible!
During my difficult days of healing I was drawn to painting and this is when God put art into my head, heart and hands! Now it's a way for me to express my love for vibrant colors, nature, love, life and most importantly my testimony! Because of His grace, I'm living a wonderful and colorful life! God bless and Love to All!
During my difficult days of healing I was drawn to painting and this is when God put art into my head, heart and hands! Now it's a way for me to express my love for vibrant colors, nature, love, life and most importantly my testimony! Because of His grace, I'm living a wonderful and colorful life! God bless and Love to All!
|
|
|
